I have a friend who grew up without any actual exposure to the homosexual lifestyle. He wasn't bothered by it, but he just didn't know anything about it.
Once a gay female friend had a child with her girlfriend. My friend went to visit, and met her girlfriend for the first time. They struck up a conversation about old times, and he was curious about something. He asked, "How does this work? Who is the kid's father? Is one of you?"
Remember, he really doesn't know. He is simply curious about how things work in his old friend's new world. He just asked a question.
We are, after all, only experts of our own experience. And while we might kind of know how things are for another person, we cannot ever really know exactly. Each person's view of the world around them is unique.
The girlfriend got a little hostile. She assumed he was being a jerk - and in her defense, her experiences might very well have taught her to respond like that - and let at him.
Still, she failed to recognize the possibility that this guy was simply asking a naive question. She instead tried to push him away from her and her life.
She alienated him simply because he could not have known what her life was all about already. But of course, you can't.
Now this often happens in religious debate as well. A person is often so convinced that their religious views are correct that they will simply dismiss any slight insinuation that they are incorrect. Their knowledge of their religion is pure and holy and damn you if you disagree.
(Some atheists get this way too. They get so cocksure that their understanding is the obvious right way to think, they dismiss anyone who believes in something else.)
This type of behavior is alienating. It is damaging, it destroys all communication. And, frankly, in the US it is also very, very common.
If you really want to live a life in such a mindset, that your own religion or personal understanding is the one and only way, and other ideas are simply not ok, you should probably do yourself and everyone else a favor then and stop even bothering to communicate at all, except with the few people who agree with you. You are, after all, by adopting that mindset and maintaining it, personally ensuring that you cannot effectively communicate.
We should, instead, remember that we are only the experts of our experience, but that person over there is the expert on his, and he might have something useful to offer. By opening your mind to new ideas, and always remaining skeptical of all you think you know, you enable communication to not only exist but to flourish. You grow wiser and smarter. You are a happier person.
The biggest disappointment atheists face in the US today is that the religious people have always wanted it to be a God-lovers-only club. And people don't seem to care if they alienate a 25th of the people because they simply do jot matter to them.
Well, I matter to me. So I choose to accept people whatever crazy thing they believe.
It comes down to one simple idea. Reach out never with anger and alienation, but with acceptance and love.
Please comment and share, and ask me questions if you like. Thanks for reading.
P.S. I'll bet you a dollar that there are more atheists who can recite Bible passages than Christians who can accurately define "atheism". Just sayin'.
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